lightning round (13. 565)

Without even being disclosed as satire with its ultimate tired-not-wired entry being “Having a ‘funny’ back page,” this early example of ragebait from Wit’s End September 1995 issue is an interesting time capsule of opinion (facetious, cringe—crass in hindsight or otherwise) of what was trending nearly twenty-one years ago. There’s a lot going on with this listicle of what’s deemed overrated, some of which still have resonance, like gender ambiguity, anything called a Summerfest, all-you-can-eat shrimp, being the host city of the Olympics, town-meeting with elected officials, morphing, zines. Others just seem bizarre for their inclusion like Pliny the Elder and conversion to Islam whilst incarcerated, 1968—and others, disparaging the likes of the alums of the Harvard Lampoon or Absolutely Fabulous, which made me rather upset. Check out the Reddit post above and let us know what stuck out for you—and maybe do a wellness check on that year.

🧐 (13. 564)

Courtesy of Kraftfuttermishwerk, we discover the world of how-to instructional reels that well predate but prevision influencers and looksmaxxing in the cache of Movietone News shorts, colourised and remastered carefully to preserve their charm and possibly unintentional humour through the lens of this 1930 tutorial by Count Etienne Louis Philippe Ścibor-Rylski of colonial Singapore, perhaps prompted by reports that the fashion trend had finally arrived in the States, on how to properly wear a monocle, the etiquette surrounding it—for those uncouth Yankees—and how to use it as an effective prop. Monocle drop was the original mic-drop. Click through for more vintage reels curated by Did You See? (including scenes of street life from the same period) and let us know what you find.

9x9 (13. 563)

pennsylvania dutch: an ethnographic profile of the Deitsch speaking Amish—see also  

it’s 1100 pm—do you know where your ai agent is: Janelle Shane (previously) on agentic artificial intelligence, vibe-coding and the need for guardrails  

hunshandake sandy land: battling creeping desertification with an army of chickens 

ethnic cleansing: US supreme court rules that the country can refuse asylum-seekers at the border and can begin the deportation of Syrian and Haitian refugees under temporary protected status        

⚙️⚙️⚙️🦑⚙️⚙️⚙️: manoeuvre your marine mollusc through an environment resembling dungeon levels from Zelda with Bubble Bobble type puzzles—via MetaFilter  

rainbow plaques: an alternative to Blue historical markers appear across London, honouring LGTBQ+  personages

final descent: the iconic airliner, the Boeing 747, is being phased out 

jerry’s world: a map of an imaginary land limned over decades using a deck of cards for procedural generation—see also  

despicable me: the influence of Minionese on the slang of Gen Alpha—see previously

8x8 (13. 550)

add to dictionary: a remembrance of the departed Tony Krueger, the software engineer that introduced red squiggles to word-processing to indicate a potential error  

seen by the machine: AI scores one’s relative importance by billions of datapoints called “the weights”—please consider the environmental impact before googling oneself—via MetaFilter 

drain the swamp: a meme roundup on the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool  

cancon: musical acts propelled to stardom over minimum requirements for domestic content on Canadian airwaves—via Miss Cellania and Nag on the Lake  

reading the room: a moment of silence observed before interviews with filmmakers to take in the room tone as a supercut from Criterion  

a la carte: US history told in early restaurant menus—see previously  

able mabel: a robotic maid from 1966  

usa a-ok: more than amplifying random statistical noise, an interesting look at Americans’ misspellings mapped

synchronoptica

one year ago: the Carnac Stones (with synchronoptica) plus a trip to Belz

two years ago: exploring Maccagno  

three years ago: artist and freedom fighter Willem Arondéus, a revolt and march toward Moscow plus the last Emperor

four years ago: Germany legalises abortion plus a work cruise on the Rhein

five years ago: artist Robert Rotar, the goddess of luck, the bells of Bad Hersfeld, assorted links to revisit plus Cubist cars

six years ago: an orchestra for houseplants,  the Battle of Bamber Bridge (1943), tourists not welcome plus the Pontiac Ghost Car

give us magnification vince (13. 540)

Via Marco McClean’s Memo of the Air, we enjoyed finding this vintage vinyl abridgement of the profoundly strange Disney feature The Black Hole as an audio LP. I remember such adaptations were popular and a way to tide one over with a teaser when a rewatch was something not so easily summoned up and an extra vehicle to showcase dialogue and sound effect through a radio drama that relied more on imagination than memory. The voice actors who played V.I.N.CENT. LF-396 (Vital Information Necessary Centralised Labour Force) and Old BO.B. LF-28 (Bio-sanitation Battalion), however, respectively Roddy McDowall and Slim Pickens, respectively, went uncredited in all versions. Sigourney Weaver was initially considered for the role of Dr Kate McCrea, the expedition’s ESP-sensitive scientist, but the casting director found her name too unusual going instead with actor Jennifer O’Neill, despite her reluctance to cut her hair for the zero-gravity scenes  Eventually relenting after the studio agreed that O’Neill could bring own hairdresser on set, Vidal Sassoon, she allowed her hair to be cropped short, easing the trauma by consuming several glasses of wine, resulting in a drink-driving accident after the first day of filming.  O’Neill was removed from the project and replaced with understudy Yvette Mimieux as the ship’ psychic.

9x9 (13. 539)

criterion collection: a roundup of dirigible-themed movies, featuring, among others, Fay Wray and Ronald Reagan as secret agent Brass Bancroft  

the camelot of africa: a tour Ethiopia’s Gondar castles 

binomial coefficients: some numbers in Pascal’s triangle make very few cameos and no one is sure why  

lost world: museum docent Louis Gratacap pioneered the genre—see previously  

fast-track enlargement: talks begin for EU accession for Ukraine and Moldova  

ger:gre: Monty Python’s Ancients v Moderns football match  

planetary-mass companion: the famous Pink Planet may be a failed binary star system  

a tisket, a tasket: an update on the headquarters building of Longaberger baskets—see previously  

sac pour mal de l’air: a collection of air sickness bags from a variety of airlines

forget it, jake—it’s chinatown (13. 536)

As our faithful chronicler informs, the neo-noir classic directed by Roman Polanski and starring Faye Dunaway, Jack Nicohson, John Huston, Diane Ladd and Burt Young was released on this day in 1974 to critical acclaim. Over the milieu of the California water wars, a series of political conflicts over water rights at the turn of the last century with the expansion of Los Angeles and the construction of aqueducts to divert resources from Owens Valley and Mono Lake used by ranchers and farmers, a woman, calling herself Evelyn Mulwray, engages a private detective to keep on whom she says is her husband, a civil engineer with the California public utility department. The investigator photographs the subject with another woman, exposing their apparent affair, but then is confronted by the engineer’s real wife, concluding that the impostor set up her husband in order to discredit him and prevent the discovery of a complex conspiracy to hoard water whilst the city is experiencing a drought. Parallel to Dunaway’s scripted revelation “My sister! My daughter!”—the film could be read as a retelling of Oedipus Rex, a plague exploited to gain power ultimately reflecting the endemic corruption of society, misidentification, and a maimed protagonist who realises the truth too late to affect the outcome—genealogists working for Time magazine informed Nicholson after the making Chinatown that his sister was, in real life, was actually his mother, raised by his grandparents as their own son when the actor was born out of wedlock to showgirl June Frances Nicholson. On learning this fact at age thirty-seven, he acknowledged it was a “pretty dramatic event but it wasn’t what I’d call traumatising…I was pretty well psychologically formed.”

9x9 (13. 533)

biometrics: the after effects of gamification of physical activity—sometimes I want to launch my pedometer and everything else into the Sun 

sovereign wealth fund: Bernie Sanders’ proposal to cede control and profits of AI to the American public  

cinecope: an archive of rare and rarefied films—via Web Curios  

battle of the bit: an authoritative archive of chiptune and MIDI renditions  

otome: the rise of synthetic, choose-your-own-adventure romance  

a privet matter: a farmer hacks down China’s lonely tree—see also here and here  

chromacity: the colours on the spectrum that your screens cannot deliver—via MetaFilter  

a show of hands: designing more finger-friendly haptics for our devices—plus dispelling old myths, via Waxy  

dark flow: how your scrolling addiction was built off casino gambling

my only escape from it all, watching a film or a face on a wall (13. 507)

On a recent long road trip, I contracted quite an earworm in the form of the Bananarama song “Robert De Niro’s Waiting…” when it came on the radio. Though not an unpleasant intrusion (in fact such randomness is quite welcome in an overly-curated environment), I was hoping to exorcise it with a little research, discovering that the lead single from the Irish-Anglo girl group—British-Hiberno? I wonder what that particular construction is called and as for girl group, Sara Dallin, Keren Woodward and Siobhan Fahey were true pioneers with an imprint—was supposedly lyrically meant to suggest something edgier and darker than their usual quirky pop-songs but was just about fandom and hero worship in the end.  The accompanying music video for Talking Italian was directed by Duncan Gibbins (making videos for Glen Frey, Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam, Blow Monkeys, Wham! and others, Gibbins tragically perished in 1993 whilst trying to rescue his cat during a wildfire that engulfed Malibu, sustaining severe burns all over his body and jumping into a swimming pool, Gibbins contracted blood-poisoning from chlorine in the water—the cat was later found unharmed) portrays one of the band members being followed by mafia-presenting man for a possible hit. Unable to locate a De Niro lookalike, they used a John Travolta impersonator for the shoot, who ended up being the pizza-delivery guy that they had had summoned. Honoured that someone had written a song about him, the actor, the renowned up until that time for his roles in the Godfather sequel, Taxi Driver and Raging Bull hosted the band for dinner. Talking Italian.

6x6 (13. 491)

common loon: one hundred greatest bird names—see previously—via Nag on the Lake  

continue y/n: test how carefully one reads AI agent requests and permission fatigue—via Quantum of Sollazzo  

weather rothkos: meteorologically up-to-date, location-based abstract art—via Web Curios  

the seduction of ingmar bergman: a concept album involving the abduction of the famed Swedish director pressed into making American cinema  

descartes against humanity: games reimagined as designed by philosophers  

apartment birds: recent avian visitors

11x11 (13. 450)

o’dark ocho: an interesting linguistic coincidence  

wildlife gusher: a mysterious structure found in the middle of nowhere—click through to read some delightful and illuminating explanations, via Miss Cellania  

thomas jerome newton: a rereading of the novel The Man Who Fell to Earth in preparation for a rewatch of the David Bowie film  

富くじ: Present /&/ Correct’s collection of Mid-Century Japanese lottery tickets—see also 

spook hotel: the de facto capitol of US administered Venezuela  

kleptocracy: Trump drops his ten billion dollar lawsuit agains his internal revenue service and department of commerce in exchange for a two billion dollar slush fund to award loyalists and exempt himself and associates from future tax audits—via Kottke  

œnology methodology: the study and enjoyment of wine—see previously  

special envoy: Trump sends governor of Louisiana to Greenland to make “friends”  

night nurse: the forgotten author Dora Macy behind the Barbara Stanwyck classic  

public health emergency of international concern: World Health Organisation declares west Africa outbreak of ebola viral haemorrhage fever highly dangerous with the US CDC still not allowed to communicate with the UN body  

cowcumbers: the courgette was previously called so as they were only considered fit for bovines

the navy vs the night monsters (13. 446)

Produced by Jack Broder and Roger Corman (see previously here and here and here) and starring Mamie Van Doren, Billy Gray and Anthony Eisley, the B-movie on the trailing end of a spate of films about botanical beasts premiered in theatres on this day in 1966. The plot involves an expedition returning from the Antarctic with samples of ancient flora, stopping off a remote US navy weather station in the South Pacific for refuelling—the thawing cargo awakens as nocturnal, motile trees that decimate the crew of the station.spewing acid on their victims. Once communications to the outside world is reestablished, the handful of survivors are rescued when napalm is dropped on the island. Whilst not faring well with contemporary audience nor upon reevaluation, not amounting to anything like a cult classic, cast and crew in part were persuaded to take part in the project on the credentials of the author of the sci-fi novel that the movie was based on—albeit it loosely and considerably padded post-production to get it to ninety-minutes in length—and almost quit en masse upon learning the title and that the US military would be the calvary. Adapted from the 1959 The Monster at the Earth’s End by prolific writer Murray Leinster, reviving the trope of what’s frozen at the South Pole is best left frozen there, Leinster’s catalogue of plot devices and imagination mark the first instance of the use, with enduring influence, of several standards of the genre: first contact (over which the writer’s estate tried to sue Star Trek), universal translators, parallel universes and timelines, a networked computer that would provide a media for communication, commerce and entertainment—the terminal called a logic and servers called tanks—orbiting space stations, tractor beams, terraforming, panspermia as well as the television series Time Tunnel and Land of the Giants.

giving me everything inside and out (13. 444)

As our faithful chronicler reminds, the Simple Minds’ song reached the top of the US Billboard charts on this day in 1985. Commissioned specifically for The Breakfast Club, the track written and arranged by record producer Keith Forsey, previously percussionist for Udo Lindenberg, several Italo-Pop pioneers, Boney M, Blondie and Giorgio Moroder, the Scottish group at first rejected the power ballad, preferring to play their own material and expressing no interest in the teen movie but eventually relented. Inspired by the preview of a scene in which a high school bully and an introvert bond with no one else watching, Forsey intended the number to serve as a reminder for their commonality and not forget it in the schoolyard. The placeholder lyrics (see also) of na-la-la-la made the final cut, and the 1980s anthem became a breakout hit for the band.

the house of mouse (13. 404)

Via Messy Nessy Chic, we are directed towards this illustrated strategic plan and sales pitch (click to embiggen) that Walt Disney presented to investors in 1957 showing revenue streams and how the company would work just as the empire was forming, Disneyland opening just two years prior, financed in part by syndicated anthology series, the Mickey Mouse Club—the variety show for children also a talent pool for the studio’s live-action stars, and a mini-series on frontiersman Davy Crockett with a tie-in ballad becoming a best-selling record. The entire juggernaut of merchandising (coonskin caps included) was complete and unprecedented, becoming firmly ensconced in American and later worldwide culture.

7x7 (13. 402)

national character: photographer John Sanderson captures shifting social demographics in the US—via Nag on the Lake  

c-64: chiptune Depeche Mode—see previously  

db: revisiting the measurement of loudness and the decibel scale, meant to replace the older unit of miles of standard cable to measure loss of fidelity—via Quantum of Sollazzo  

filmaffisch: early to mid-century movie posters by prolific graphic artist Eric Rohman  

stranded assets: the economic concept of demand destruction, emerging from peak oil and pivot to energy alternatives  

beast in the basement: the musical stylings of organist Leon Berry, who also recorded a cover version of “Misirlou”  

blind patriotism: Banksy (previously) confirms that guerrilla installation in central London is his work

relatively speaking (13. 385)

Courtesy of Poseidon’s Underworld, we are introduced to the short-lived first-run syndication panel game show filmed before a live studio audience on the Universal backlot. Celebrity contestants, contemporary with the programme’s 1988 to 1989 airing (a real embodiment of the end of the decade transition from glamour to grunge with a particularly garish set) with the inaugural panel consisting of comedian Anne Bloom of the HBO parody Not Necessarily the News, Marsha Warfield of Night Court, Jaime Farr of M*A*S*H and George Wyner of Hill St Blues, would quiz a mystery guest who was separated by any number of degrees from a famous relative and try to determine whom that better known next of kin was, in keeping with the tradition of classic game shows like What’s My Line? and Figure it Out. Subject to interrogation over the run of the show included Cher’s mother, Georgia Holt, Patsy Swayze, Jackie Stallone, Rona Newton-John and spouses and offspring, content or not to not share the spotlight, like the ex-wife of Herve Villechaize of Fantasy Island or Bob Denver’s (The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis and Gilligan’s Island) step son or Lassie’s trainer—from the series reboot. Winnings were donated to charity.

8x8 (13. 360)

what1tune: a musical address regimen to geohash the globe with simple melodies—see previously 

neon colour spreading: a compelling optical illusion—see also 

imperial megalomania: Commodus ordered the entire city of Rome named after himself, executed anyone who mocked him, dispatched and quick subject to damnatio memoriae 

measure for measure: the religious hypocrisy (and ignorance) on display in the Trump White House with attacks on the papacy and crusader mentality through the lens of Shakespeare’s play  

proleporn: AI slop in George Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty-Four—see previously  

on the clock: Maarten Baas studio recruits a thousand volunteers to represent the hands of time at Amsterdam’s Schiphol airport—see previously 

hollyworld: filming location substitutes in California

9x9 (13. 350)

reference desk: harness Google’s secret card catalog—via Kottke  

nitrate divas: a remarkable 1928 amateur film adaptation of Edgar Allen Poe short story “The Fall of the House of Usher” 

📍: a Scrabble Map commissioned for the word play game’s (previously) international commemoration, celebrated yesterday  

middle powers: Carney’s Liberal Party secures supermajority in parliamentary special elections  

print gallery of an artist: an MC Escherque exploration of recursive spaces—via Waxy 

infallibilità papale: ally Meloni (previously) breaks with Trump over criticism of Pope, cancels security arrangement with Israel  

dutch cartocubism: an overlooked approach to simplify mapping from the early 1930s from the figures behind ISOTYPE—via Quantum of Sollazzo—see also  

connie converse: rediscovering the forgotten folk-music genius 

огас: the 1960s proto-internet that the Soviet Union passed on—see previously

8x8 (13. 334)

queen bee: the fascinating life-cycle of bumblebee matriarchs includes the ability to breath underwater  

zweeeeëg: dizygotic, fraternal words and other Danish and Luxembourgish orthography, including vanilleijs  

pork johnson: the spoof trailer for the feature film on Gimp, the Photoshop alternative, starring a puppet warthog and reminiscent of Social Network  

ranger danger: the Trump administration eviscerates the US forest service, see previously—via Kottke  

byline: World Press photos of the year  

₿: the investigator who unmasked the creator of the cryptocurrency—see previously  

to wit: the lost intimacy and nuance of extinct Old English pronouns  

regina apoidea: the brilliant physical acting of Joan Crawford presented as slap-fest

the voice of world control (13. 330)

Not to be confused with the supercomputer of the same name owned by Elon Musk, as our faithful chronicler reminds on this day in 1970 Universal Pictures’ cinematic adaptation of the 1966 scifi novel by Dennis Feltham Jones, Colossus: The Forbin Project went into general release. Constructed in secret in a base within the Rocky Mountains, Dr Charles Forbin developed an advanced defence system to control the arsenal of allied nuclear weapons, which is fully activated after an inspection and approval by the US president as “perfect”—gaining sentience when brought online—and alerting handlers that there is another system, directing intelligence services to the parallel programme that the Soviet Union have also just completed, Guardian—based on the real-life early warning network against ballistic missile attack, the USSR’s equivalent of NORAD. Colossus requests to be linked to its counterpart, which American and Soviet leadership acquiesce to as a sign of good will and to test the other machine’s capabilities. To the entertainment of the gathered scientists, the supercomputers begin to establish their own communications protocols, slowly at first with rudimentary mathematical formulae, excelling quickly to complex equations beyond human comprehension and synchronising their exchange in a series of uninterpretable ciphers. Worried that the supercomputers may be oversharing or conspiring against their minders, the connection is severed. When overtures to restore the link are not immediately attended, the machines separately lob nuclear missiles in remote areas of the respective superpowers’ territories. Communication between Colossus and Guardian is restored to avoid further rogue behaviour but interceptors, not working in tandem, fails and the governments must release a cover story to the press regarding the destruction of a village in west Texas and Siberia, saying the former was a test-rocket misfire and the latter a meteorite impact. Attempts to regain control of the machines are thwarted and Forbin remanded to confinement, subjugating humans with the threat of nuclear holocaust. Colossus-Guardian design a more advanced computer and order it to be built on Crete, displacing the entire population, addressing the world that under its benign dictatorship, a new era will be ushered in that will raise humanity to unimagined heights, but only under its absolute rule—with a private aside to its creator that “freedom is an illusion” and that in time mankind will come to mature with feeling of not only fear, reverence and awe towards the machine but ultimately love and adoration. Though earning the praise of critics and comparisons to Dr Strangelove, it was a commercial failure though having some later success upon reevaluation and a cult classic.