police procedural (12. 584)

First heard on NPR’s news quiz Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me, we learned that over the weekend, police in Wisconsin searched a vehicle with an individual with a warrant out for their arrest—after a drug-sniffing dog gave authorities probable cause. Iconically they found various paraphernalia, a loaded gun, an amount of fiat currency and cocaine in a bag labeled ✨Definitely Not a Bag Full of Drugs✨. The driver and passenger were arrested for possession and as a felon with with a firearm. The photograph of confiscated evidence also features a dice bag used for role-playing games like Dungeons & Dragons, which should definitely not be considered criminal behaviour especially in the home state of Gary Gygax. It does, however, seem like a scoff-law move not to have stashed their everyday-carry in the more iconic (though possibly more obvious) Crown Royal bag. The Canadian blended whisky introduced on the occasion of the visit of King George VI and Queen Elizabeth in 1939 as the first reigning monarchs to visit North America, the purple velvet satchel with golden draw-strings has been part of the brand’s identity ever since and is a genuinely useful object to have handy—and I’ll admit to buying some Crown Royal just to have one around in case of need. One can also order personalised bags from the distillery or request a care-package—so packaged—see to troops abroad.