Saturday, 14 July 2018

rumour has it

Notwithstanding conspiratorial thinking and demagoguery has all but replaced ideology in political discourse and repairing to such impulses is very dangerous for society, what conspiracy theories—aside from the Mormon account for periodic encounters with sasquatch being just sightings of Cain doomed to wander the Earth as an outcast for eternity—strike you as nearly plausible?
My favourite, the above excluded naturally, is that New Coke was not a marketing blunder but rather cover for a two-pronged conversion to its original family of products: one, the original formula switched from using cane sugar as a sweetener to cheap and abundant high fructose corn syrup; two, in order to placate those on the front lines of the US war on drugs, the new recipe dispensed with all coca-based derivatives, seeing its supplies in Colombia under threat. There’s apparently some credence to the latter while the timing is off by a few years on the former, the message is don’t drink sodas. If there ever was any merit or tonic to it, that’s long gone by now.  The above rumour is at best an instructive folktale or at worst, an affront against cryptozoologists.