duo lingo (12. 132)

Having always found foreign language phrase books either a bit sinister and/or absurdist (see previously), we enjoyed this excerpt taken from a 1937 edition of Collins’ Pocket Interpreter series for visitors to Paris, which makes any excursion outside of one’s comfort zone sound particularly fraught, and as described by author James Thurber as singularly tragic in an overwhelming and original way.

I cannot open my case.
I have lost my keys.
I did not know that I had to pay.
I cannot find my porter.
Excuse me, sir, that seat is mine.
I cannot find my ticket!
I have left my gloves (my purse) in the dining car.
I feel sick.
The noise is terrible.
Did you not get my letter?
I cannot sleep at night, there is so much noise.
There are no towels here.
The sheets on this bed are damp.
I have seen a mouse in the room.
These shoes are not mine.
The radiator doesn’t work.
This is not clean, bring me another.
I can’t eat this. Take it away!
The water is too hot, you are scalding me!
It doesn’t work.
This doesn’t smell very nice.
There is a mistake in the bill.
I am lost.
Someone robbed me.
I shall call a policeman.
That man is following me everywhere.
There has been an accident!
She has been run over.
He is losing blood.
He has lost consciousness.

Hopefully you’ve never been in a situation to have such phrases at one’s ready disposal. Much more from Futility Closet at the link above. Ces chaussures ne sont pas à moi.