Like every restaurant, national monument, club, loose association, florist, and fire hydrant, my organization at work has a companionable presence on the internet. This forum, intended mainly to promote goings-on, and solicit community mood, however, is open to a wider public, not under the same dictates as an employer/employee- or consumer-relationship. It is sociologically fascinating and gloomy to see how it has not invited civility in. Though most items betray laziness, idleness or the inability to use the telephone book or the Google, a growing portion of complaints, vignettes and insights border on tormenting and terrorism--or at least the instigation thereof. A few weeks ago, I was involved in hosting a guest speaker on the subject of bullying. The talk was very accessible and lucid and though the target audience was school teachers and children, adults are bullies too--just with more ammunition. The discussion really highlighted the fundamental lessons that are sometimes overlooked: that bullying is not conflict and arbitration techniques do not apply but only exacerbate the targets, there is a distinct difference between tattling and alerting and children can comprehend the difference with guidance and positive examples. Snitching and gossip do not need to be broadcast if the message only serves to get another into trouble but not prevent it. A vigilant and a vigilante mentality has become a cultural norm, thanks to more universal tormentors and maybe many are not conditioned to err on the side of restraint or introspection. I don't think many take into account the distinction among incrimination, defamation, intervention--all of them together or answer unclear, before committing an observation to the permanent-record.
