Regular contributor to McSweeney’s Steven Ruddy presents a delightfully Dickensian gig-economy, Uber Eats retelling of the Christmas Carol, specifically the concluding scene when Scrooge cries out to a boy in the street, ecstatic that he hasn’t missed Christmas Day and attempts to dispatch a prize turkey to the Cratchit home, though has difficulties fulfilling his order. “Delivery fee is two crowns, sir.”
Monday, 26 December 2022
my company takes the entire delivery fee. you were a capitalist until five minutes ago—you should know how these things work. (10. 414)
may all jollity lighten your christmas hours (10. 413)
For Second Christmas, our AI wrangler Janelle Shane (see previously) hit upon another ingenious application for generative networks, remedying in one fell prompt the inscrutability of Victorian greeting cards and the relatively anodyne nature of contemporary cards, to enliven the iconography and sentiment for the industry. 
Yearly good tidings and descriptions were issued by machines fed on the corpus of inaccessibly weird cards, and where possible, illustrated by our programmer. The unrenderable caption that goes with the above 1889 motto calls for “a jester puppet with magic hat holding a leaping, toothed bird which brandishes a cane as it leaps.” Another favourite was for 1890—May You Feel Sturdy and Gay—picturing an elegant naiad lifting a pianoforte and wearing a striped bathing suit. Much more to explore at the links above.
the duchess and the dirt water fox are calling (10. 412)
Originally telecast on this day in 1992 with the MST3K treatment—having previously attained somewhat of a cult following by its inclusion in Elvira’s Movie Macabre in 1984, the 1965 scif-fi movie from the Woolner Brothers (also with the credits Hercules Unchained, Hercules and the Captive Women, Attack of the Fifty Foot Woman and Hillbillies in a Haunted House) follows the plot of a mysterious agent, Dr Kolos, of the Intergalactic Council tasked with replacing prominent human scientists with android doppelgรคngers in order to take over the Earth. The alien plan is foiled by intervention from the US National Intelligence Service.
Sunday, 25 December 2022
away in a manger (10. 411)
On Christmas Day in 1223, inspired himself by a pilgrimage undertaken in somewhat safer times years 
earlier to Bethlehem and to discourage the faithful from making the arduous trip after the fall of the Crusader Kingdoms in the Holy Land by offering a local alternative, St Francis of Assisi arranged the first Nativity Scene (Presepe) in a grotto—sanctuary—in the village of Greccio in Lazio. Francis arranged for a human baby to be lain in hay and attended by an ox and donkey. Word spread and parishioners came from all over the valley, bearing torches and candles to witness the display. Attending friars celebrated Mass and Francis recited the gospel. The scene, reflected in the village coat of arms, is recreated annually.
Saturday, 24 December 2022
แแแแฒแแแแแ (10. 409)
The timing influenced and somewhat reinforced by encounters with Christian missionaries from both 
Western and Eastern traditions—Christmas itself being syncretic holiday with pre-Christian roots, festivities for the New Year begin on this day for some members of the Inuit, Aleut, Yupik, Iรฑupiat and Chukchi communities with Quviasukvik (“the time and place of joy”) celebrations lasting through 7 January. Customs differ from Greenland, North America to Siberia but the vigils of watching the sunrise, feasting and gift-exchanges are welcoming the return of the sea goddess Sedna (see also) with her blessings and bounty as the daylight returns.
Friday, 23 December 2022
how to draw christmas (10. 408)
Via Super Punch, having been previously acquainted with the sketching lessons of Ed Emberley—from the same source—we quite enjoyed this 1986 seasonal battery of exercises for decking the halls. Thirteen more festive panels to be found at Present /&/ Correct with more background at the links above. We especially liked the instructions for the sheep on wheels and the baubles and ornaments for the tree.
projection connections (10. 407)
The Map Room refers us to a brilliant infographic poster from designer and geomancer Daniel Huffman (having just issued a trading card set on the same subject—see previously) that myriad cartographical compromises and innovations proffered over the course of centuries to map a three-dimensional world on paper and how those techniques inform and compliment one another in the struggle to reduce distortion and bias. Much more at the links above.
