Saturday, 1 July 2017

le grand large

Back in 1989, a sportscaster convinced Dear Leader to lend his brand and sponsorship to a bicycle race through the US mid-Atlantic states meant to rival and eventually supplant in popularity the Tour de France. As the Tour de Trump was being organised, Dear Leader’s legal team prepared to undermine and file charges against a bike race being held in Colorado called Tour de Rump—claiming libel and infringement on the name of this “inaugural” event would cause confusion.
The suit was dismissed and there’s been a lot of mileage to be had from the apt similarity ever since, which as the Colorado race was scheduled independently and far in advance of the East Coast one was a comparison that Dear Leader brought on himself. The first competitors included members of the Soviet national men’s cycling team among others and was jeered by (prescient) protestors during its first stage in upstate New York through to the final stage that passed by his casinos in New Jersey, waving placards that advised to “Fight Trumpism!” and “Die Yuppie $cum!” The race was held for a second year under Dear Leader’s patronage before he surrendered his stake to the chemical company that was co-sponsoring the event, with the last Tour de Trump to be won by Mexican national Raúl Alcalá Gallegos.