3-d

I have a poor sense of depth-perception, because I lack stereoscopic vision at most angles--a persistent but mild double-vision, which I've learned to cope with in most circumstances. I realize that that very tiny car speeding towards my bumper is, in fact, a normal-sized car at a safe distance. Yarrggg! I wore an eye patch as a child, hoping that my eyes might achieve normal equilibrium. I still, however, find many daily prat-falls that I can blame. I blame what H calls my shaving blind-spots, cat-fish whiskers that I never manage to scrape away, or the panicked state I get in when trying to park my mammoth car remotely close to any potential obstacle, walking into door frames and general clumsiness. I don't feel as if anything is truly inaccessible to me because of this, like an inmate of Flatland among hyper-dimensional beings, and I'm a pretty handy shot with a gun--just those magic-eye constructions--where Dragon-Jesus is supposed to suddenly jump out at one from the fractals, were always lost on me.

first estate

My global positioning navigator is a clever one, but it is guarded pessimistic. I understand that it dynamically analyzes my driving habits and regular route, to formulate an estimated time of arrival, which debunks the fact that everyone thinks I get to work on time. It's sort of like setting the time on one's bedside clock five to seven minutes ahead of the real, agreed-upon time rather than put one's alarm five minutes earlier. I feel misunderestimated. Conversely, I believe that a surprising amount of Americans, and by extension Europeans, are overtly optimistic about their future job-security. Polling-wise, maybe this happy third are exclusively among the ranks of civil-servants, proctors of higher-education, celebrities, and fast-foodiers, but the size of this figure is surprising. Given the ambious goals of the US to rescue housing, health care and the world economy, I wouldn't imagine that anyone would feel terribly safe. I've said before that the possibly Europeans held the naive view that because they did not cause this crisis, maybe they think they ought to not bear as great a brunt of it. There's no poll of global sentiment but everyone's beginning to take notice of furloughs and slow-downs. Neither is there a real sampling of the feelings of those who are waiting to find what lies at the rainbow's end of the Xings and Monster.com's of the world, sending their hopeful CV's into the internet and work-force blackhole, like messages in bottles.

presenting a new month in honour of the god of war

Incidentally, more wars have historically begun in March. Are people just itching to fight after a long, bleak winter? I dread that, a bit, especially since the idea of war and struggle have been abstracted and institutionalized. When did that happen? Since when have our responsibilities shifted to hoping our a nationalistic sort of bail-out? Maybe the waiting would be better served by making a plan, devising a personal bail-out. One should ask when before did a glorious war target one's own petty tyrrants and arch-villans, and when has a pre-packaged survival kit satisfy every contingency. It is rather difficult to practice what I preach, however, not trying to do so makes the waiting, deux-ex-machina, merely that--waiting.

what we have here is a failure to communicate

Just as we learn that words are not mere artillery--volleys of wounding, explosive things to express demands and discomfort, and rather capable of conveying sense, language, mediation and even persuation (sophistry and philosophy) and art--emails too are a form communication. No one need answer to me, even when I am acting, apeing as my boss, but most are ready to cooperate with me. Mostly. There are a few that I work with who I'm convinced emails are one-way conduits, there to express wants and demands without waiting for an answer or feedback, despite any salutations to the contrary. That makes me insane: we utilize email an awful lot at work--and not just as viable evidence to safeguard our minor and major mistakes--as a form of communication. I suspect that the people who do not bother to reply to demands issued would niggle through a face-to-face conversation in the same frustrating way.

F.B.I.--Urgent Response Needed (805)

To: Undisclosed Recipients

Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI)Anti-Terrorist And Monitory Crime Division.Federal Bureau Of Investigation.J.Edgar.Hoover Building Washington DcCustomers Service Hours--Monday To Saturday:Office Hours Monday To Saturday: Attn: Beneficiary,This is to Officially inform you that it has come to our notice and we have thoroughly Investigated with the help of our Intelligence Monitoring Network System that you are having an illegal Transaction with Impostors claiming to be Prof. Charles C. Soludo of the Central Bank Of Nigeria, Mr. Patrick Aziza, Mr Frank Nweke, none officials of Oceanic Bank, Zenith Banks, kelvin Young of HSBC, Ben of FedEx, Ibrahim Sule,Larry Christopher, Dr. Usman Shamsuddeen, Puppy Scammers are impostors claiming to be the Federal Bureau Of Investigation. During our Investigation, we noticed that the reason why you have not received your payment is because you have not fulfilled your Financial Obligation given to you in respect of your Contract/Inheritance Payment.

The New American President Barrack Obama have made way to all americans who have not yet received their payment, In recent ages, The American experienced difficulties in receiving their funds because of the former presidents of USA, As you know quite well that Nigeria is a black country and the Past American presidents treats the blacks in the america like slaves, The White americans practice races against the blacks and the Nigerian Government is not happy about this and this is the main reason why your payment have been delayed with one excuse or the other, Your New President Barrack Obama had a meeting with the Nigerian President some weeks ago and for the fact, Barrack Obama is a black man and will stop races in America, All americans are eligible to receive their payment now without anymore headaches. This is a good news to you so act fast and receive your payment now without anymore delay.Please I have taken this measure, having observed and known what you have suffered in your pursuit so far to claim Since the Federal Bureau of Investigation is involved in this transaction, you have to be rest assured for this is 100% risk free it is our duty to protect the American Citizens. All I want you to do is to contact the ATM CARD CENTER via email for their requirements to proceed and procure your Approval Slip on your behalf which will cost you $250.00 only and note that your Approval Slip which contains details of the agent who will process your transaction.

CONTACT INFORMATIONNAME: MR. SMITH WILLIAMSEMAIL: williamssmith2@yahoo.cn

Do contact Mr. SMITH WILLIAMS of the ATM CARD CENTRE with your details:

FULL NAME:

HOME ADDRESS:

TELL:

CELL:

CURRENT OCCUPATION:

AGE:

So your files would be updated after which he will send the payment information’s which you'll use in making payment of $250.00 via Western Union Money Transfer or Money Gram Transfer for the procurement of your Approval Slip after which the delivery of your ATM CARD will be effected to your designated home address without any further delay.

We order you get back to this office after you have contacted the ATM SWIFT CARD CENTER and we do await your response so we can move on with our Investigation and make sure your ATM SWIFT CARD gets to you.We assure you that your parcel will arrive your country within 2 days as soon as this company receive the payment of $250 by you and the tracking number of your parcel will be sent to you via e-mail immediately so that you can track it yourself to see whether we are competent in the discharge of our duties.Thanks and hope to read from you soon.

ROBERT S. MUELLER,

DIRECTORFEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION

UNITED STATES

DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICEWASHINGTON, D.C. 20535

Note: Do disregard any email you get from any impostors or offices claiming to be in possession of your ATM CARD, you are hereby advice only to be in contact with Mr.SMITH WILLIAMS of the ATM CARD CENTRE who is the rightful person to deal with in regards to your ATM CARD PAYMENT and forward any emails you get from impostors to this office so we could act upon and commence investigation

Not pink, not green, not aqua-marine

Thinking about the new place, lay out and what to do with the walls, I wonder if German paint samples come on swaths with fun but essentially meaningless names, like one finds in American DIY shops. I wonder that's its not mutually intelligible to describe something as a shade more puce and tang less magenta, more seagreen and not so much aqua-marine (though I am sure there are well-defined standards--especially for branded-colours and exacting pigment combinations). H may cringe sometimes when he looks at the decor-handiwork of my current place. H has got some nicely accented walls, a green or red boarder to divide the rooms, where as I decided it might brighten up the place if I painted, a Fools' Gold yellow, which I applied over the wallpaper, which was a midnight sky blue textured paper with glow-in-the-dark stars that show through when the room is pitch-black. It seemed like a good idea at the time--it makes for a strange blend that's not found in nature. I think, since we've sort of departed the realm of reason with descriptives, new colours ought to be given tasteless and offensive names--khmer rouge, hussy white, soylent green, high-yellow, and brown shirt brown.

A Visit from the Lint Fairy

Sometimes when folding laundry out of the drier (folding it--as opposed to the usual routine of scrounging something to wear out of it, only to transfer back to the washer without the interim state of being nicely bundled and pressed and in the Schrank) I find such little gifts in my pockets, perfectly formed lint-eggs, prodigal lighters that miraculously still light, shiny clean coins and wrinkled notes. Money is a terribly dirty thing, and one wouldn't want to find rough-handled sums in his pants. These little gifts sometimes make the domestic drudgery worthwhile.