war & cheese

Addressing a moribund dispute over European transparently subsidising its airline industry with a quiver, a toolbox of tariffs and bars to trade meant for lower-stakes disagreements, our Roquefort is once again making headlines as the Trump regime is threatening to impose some eleven billion dollars in punitive import duties on EU products, including wine and cheese.
Of course, those who live in glass houses should not throw stones and the US, though delivery methods may be more evasive, supports its domestic airline industry as robustly if not to a greater extent with military contracts and other preferential treatment and the EU is preparing for retaliatory measures. It’s a tragically uncouth coincidence that trying to solve this fifteen year old standoff comes in the wake of airplane crashes that shake confidence in the competence of a US manufacturer. Though very antagonistic toward the World Trade Organisation in terms of begrudging its member dues and feet-dragging on the appointment of arbiters, America sees no hypocrisy in leaning on the body to enforce rules when it suits them.

käsecore

When I first caught the headline of this study, I assumed it meant that Hip Hop did something to stimulate the taste buds rather than having aged wheels of Emmentaler (hobby cheesemaker’s Beat Wampfler’s signature Muttenglück) in immersive soundscapes for six months. I was a bit sceptical about the claims that each sample, exposed to different musical genres, displayed a different taste profile but indeed sonic chemistry is a discipline that researchers are just beginning to appreciate and explore. Reportedly, the cheese aged accompanied by Hip Hop turned out zestier and the quintessentially Swiss cheese had bigger holes—eyes, in the trade.

daisy bell

Somehow this 1962 MacLaren’s Imperial Cheddar Club Cheese (club referring to a style that blends cheddar with other mature cheeses is flavoured with peppercorn and garlic, the label since wholly acquired by Kraft) advertisement subtlety prefigures the whole distracted boyfriend, me—also me meme.

 

8x8

shadow-boxing: more clever illustrations from Vincent Bal (previously)

a sid and marty krofft production: the Banana Splits (see also) may get a revival, possibly as homicidal maniacs

animal husbandry: falcon breeders wear special copulation hats to get donor samples (see also the Falcon Hive), via Super Punch

shelf-life: a book whose pages are slices of processed cheese

www: via Kottke’s Quick Links, we discover that CERN has rebuilt the original 1990 browser that Tim Berners-Lee invented as an in-browser emulation—how does your website look through the lens of three decades?

bauhaus: a collection of short documentaries celebrating the design movement’s centenary (previously)

prêt-à-porter: a retrospective look at some of Karl Lagerfeld’s greatest fashion shows

climeworks: the determined Swiss start-up that is working to stop climate change through direct CO₂ capture, via Swiss Miss  

drawn together

Hamburg-native and illustrator responsible for bringing to life English author and playwright Julia Donaldson’s Gruffalo, Axel Scheffler, has called London home for nearly four decades but since the Brexit referendum and the UK’s departure imminent, these days he’s anguishing over the outcome. In response, he invited some of his colleagues to illustrate their visions of Europe united and divided.

6x6

art brut: the incredible portfolio of outsider artist (previously here, here and here) Adolf Wölfi

gamalost: Norway’s campaign to re-popularise a crumbly and aromatic cheese with reputed libidinous qualities—via Nag on the Lake

call sign: radio station logos of the Soviet Union—via Coudal Partner’s Fresh Signals

hey! wait! I’ve got a new complaint: a brief history of the heart-shaped box and how it became a Valentine’s staple

mirror, mirror: the label on this sun-screen bottle are printed backwards to be more photogenic

word vectors: advanced translators are an endorsement Ludwig Wittgenstein’s theories on language

5x5: turophile edition

a brie history of time: ten thousand years of cheese

pink queen: a storied Swiss cheesemaker fulfils a custom order for a client in Hong Kong

crustless: a curated collection of vintage cheese spread labels

non-diary analogue: concluding cheese week with homemade vegan substitutes

cornerstone: a trio of American creameries collaborate to create a new variety, via Coudal Partners  

mcdol ou le maire mccheese

We learn that the town of Dolus-d’Oléron has staged a four year legal battle to keep one fast food franchise off the picturesque and pristine Île d’Oléron (previously here and here), and amid contentions the courts may arrive at a decision soon.
Opponents, hoping to continue to foster a culture of environmental sustainability and minimising the deleterious effects of human enterprise, present some rather compelling arguments against the famously unwelcome franchise. Above and beyond reasons of aesthetics and how the competition hurts local business, the opposition group, led by the mayor of Dolus, offers that the business model of fast food and drive-thru service is a relic that’s done quite enough damage and has no place in the future. France has had a rather fraught relationship with the fast food giant over the decades not only as an assault on the palette but also a symbol of unchecked globalisation, protests and dialogues prompted over a trade dispute in 1990s when the US retaliated against an array of French products, including Roquefort cheese, over Europe’s refusal to allow hormone-treated beef into its markets.

caquelon oder der fondue verschwörung

Reprising an older episode from October 2014, Planet Money helped us get wise to the Swiss cheese cartel (Schweizerische Käseunion) and how the former marketing and trade company—given the powers of a regulatory body, in effect, by the Swiss government, successfully campaigned and unified production to keep the industry safe and solvent while also promoting and popularising fondue and raclette as traditional, national dishes. Chartered in the midst of the First World War, the Käseunion drew up production quotas and a pricing regime to prevent cheese from being too far devalued.

Neutral Switzerland having weathered the war unscathed, it retained its systems of production but no longer had the rest of Europe to export its cheese to. The low demand and high supply was kept under control by the monopoly, who directed production and pared down the thousand varieties formerly produced to just seven authorised kinds and then eventually down to three: the iconic Gruyère, Emmental and Sbrinz. Fondue was not invented in the 1950s and aggressively marketed around the world in the 1960s and beyond as a vehicle for selling more surplus cheese and the characterisation probably is sure to offend but we’re suspecting that that version is not too far off. As attested turophiles, however, we don’t care if the image of bubbling cauldrons (caquelon) of cheese at the ski chalet is a bit of a ploy. Amid scandal and corruption, the Käseunion was officially disbanded in 1999, and while their legacy is still felt, cheesemakers are free to return to producing some of the heirloom varieties.

still-life with roquefort

import/export or war and cheese

The Atlantic features a short documentary from Ben Garfield on the self-proclaimed saviour to Russian turophiles named Oleg Sirota, a former IT professional who realised his true-calling once trade embargos were enacted on all sides in response to the annexation of Crimea in 2014 and the importation of European cheese was banned.
While I’m pretty sure that this is very much against the spirit of the legal protections extended to geographically distinct food products, Sirota is supplying otherwise unavailable varieties of Italian, French and English cheeses from his factory, the profile does present some interesting questions on patriotism, nativism and opportunism. Cheese is an especially interesting item to “traffic” because of its cultural resonance and attachment to a specific location and given the fact that for a perishable item, it is pretty portable and was among one of the first food traditions that people exported.

hankering for a hunk of cheese

Turophiles in China can once again delight in stinky and soft cheeses from France and Italy and elsewhere after customs officials’ fears were allayed that the bacteria behind the smell was not potentially harmful to human health. After a two month embargo the decision was reverse and is now codified in an export agreement, which may preclude future disputes. Though Western-style dairy products are not traditionally part of the Chinese diet, taste for Roquefort, brie and mozzarella is on the rise with the Asian market-share having nearly doubled in the past year.

fluid dynamics or bonzai kittens

A French physicist wins the coveted Ig Noble prize with his thesis that felines exhibit both properties of being both solid and liquid states simultaneously.
It’s sort of like the superposition of Schrödinger’s Cat, studying the creatures’ remarkable limberness and ability to fill any space and assume the shape of its container. Prizes also come with an honorarium of ten trillion (Zimbabwean) dollars. Read more about the other laureates in different categories, including an unconscionable experiment that compared the brain waves of cheese-lovers and cheese-haters (also taking place in France) to see if the source of aversion could be pinpointed, at the link up top.

leerdammer, limburger

BBC Culture treats us to a tour of an exhibition hosted in the galleries of the Maurithuis of the Hague—the kingly cabinet known for curating the collection of Old Dutch Masters, which not only extols the aesthetic appeal of cheese as a subject for still life paintings but also for its inspirational virtues through the ages. There are dozens of examples mentioned worthy of further exploration but one of the more resonant ones was how a particularly ingratiating morsel of Camembert (and not Einstein’s contemporary writings on time dilation and relativity as some have suggested) that drove Salvador Dalí to create his iconic melting clocks in Persistence of Memory.

appellation d'origine contrôlée or blessed are the cheesemakers

Though I will be the first to admit that I am a woefully inadequate copy-editor and do a poor job proof-reading my own material, this apparent typo on the recently unveiled war memorial in Columbia City, Indiana seems mute testimony to sloppiness and the need for a second set of eyes for those situations where a squiggly underscore isn’t there to help.
But I say apparent because perhaps there’s an outside chance that the engraver is making a statement. Protections for regional—sometimes very, very specific locations, artisanal produce and delicacies are quite different than raging nationalism, but that difference is nonetheless by degrees and not in kind, I suppose. It’s still a dichotomy among vintners, cheese mongers and other specialists that creates an in- and an out-group that holds that there’s something imparted by the land and habitat where the food or drink is sourced. Is it placist and a sign of insecurity to believe so and to believe that those coming from elsewhere are somehow impure and of lesser quality? What do you think? I don’t believe that was the message, but most wars that anyone has prosecuted seem to be justified around the same narrative (land sometimes substituted with blood) and I wouldn’t be surprised if America didn’t enter into a trade war that informs future monuments—but not for those on the losing side.

hapax lexicon

The works of William Shakespeare gave us many nonce words—contrived for that specific occasion only, but later adopted into at least uncommon parlance, but there’s a linguistic form that fairly prevalent contextually but that the Bard only gives us two examples of: what’s called a hapax legomenon.
From the Greek for “only said once,” they are bedevilling instances of words—which may have been common enough in everyday speech but were only recorded in a particular corpus one time and usually very difficult to interpret. Shakespeare’s hapaxes are hebenon, the mystery poison in Hamlet used to kill his father the king and honorificabilitudinitatibus, meaning honourable or merit-worthy—and is in addition to being the longest occurrence of alternating consonants and vowels in annuals of English literature, some anti-Shakespearians take this word as an admission of authorship with one possible anagram being “hi ludi, F. Baconis nati, tuiti orbi” or rather “these plays, F[rancis] Bacon’s offspring, are preserved for the world.” Another from an older medieval manuscript is flother, a synonym for snowflake, and apparently preserved nowhere else. By extension, hapaxes can also be singular occurrences in a given literary tradition: the word for cheese (גבינה) for example only appears once in the Old Testament in the Book of Job, but has become the standard modern Hebrew term.

fromageries occitanes

On this day, as our faithful chronicler Doctor Caligali informs, among other things in the year 1070 according to turophile lore (a highly specific date), Roquefort cheese was accidentally invented when a shepherd stashed his noontime repast in one of the Combalou caves in order to pursue a fair maiden—or what have you. Returning to retrieve his lunch after the appellation d'origine contrôlée standard number of months for maturation, the ewe’s cheese had transformed into Roquefort, which perhaps came in handy after such a dalliance as clinical trials have shown that the mould in the cheese can combat gangrene and venereal diseases.

l'atlas

The Local’s French edition has a rather detailed map of the adult beverages of the various regions and localities of the country, accompanied by an equally detailed key, legend that gives the story behind the various liqueurs, ciders, beers, tonics, brandies and whiskies. The wines of France, however, are deserving of their own cartographic treatment as are the cheeses.

graters gonna grate

Though the soft cheese wouldn’t be the ideal sculpting medium (I can’t claim to speak from experience) and she’s actually made of twenty kilos of English cheddar, the name Brie-oncé is perfect for this likeness of the pop diva created for a wine and cheese festival that took place in London over the weekend. Read more about the intriguing world of competitive (accompanied by groan-worthy cheesy puns—you’ve been warned) at the link up top.

to serve man or six tablespoon lemon turn beans

One computer science researcher, apparently seeking the answer to the question what might be on the daily menus of the future as alternatives to soylent green, spoon-fed an open-source neural network a bunch of cookbooks and food blogs to see if it could learn what things go together and what things do not. This was not the next you-got-peanut-butter-in-my-chocolate break-through yet—perhaps far from it—and the machine’s initial recipes seem to suggest that there’s a bit of a learning curve and that robots might not be welcome in the kitchen, at least not with creative-control:

Beef Soup With Swamp Peef and Cheese
Chocolate Chops & Chocolate Chips
Crimm Grunk Garlic Cleas
Beasy Mist
Export Bean
Spoons In Pie-Shell, Top If Spoon and Whip the Mustard
Chocolate Pickle Sauce
Whole Chicken Cookies
Salmon Beef Style
Chicken Bottom
Star *
Cover Meats
Out Of Meat
Completely Meat Circle
Completely Meat Chocolate Pie
Cabbage Pot Cookies
Artichoke Gelatin Dogs
Crockpot Cold Water