carhop

In order to make visiting a charging station less of a chore and more of a treat (though I imagine that such a congregating place might be short-lived with exponential improvements to battery life and duration of recharging times), the entrepreneur behind Tesla electric vehicles and several other enterprises besides will transform one of his service points in the Los Angeles area into a classic bit of Americana, making it into a drive-in restaurant, complete with a (robotic?) waitstaff/pit-crew on roller skates. That’s a pretty clever idea—we think, the set-up is already familiar and seems conducive to powering-up one’s car and we wonder if a resurgence of drive-in theatres might not be in the offering soon.

fine dining

Unfortunately, the US Sh*t Poster in-chief is an influencer and is setting—unsurprisingly—an atrocious example with his dietary predilections, which is a resounding endorsement for the processed, nutritionally vacuous and brandable foods that he’s chosen to limn the limits of his palette.
Such a cycle of meals only serve to keep us indentured to the systems underlying it: an economy bolstered by mcjobs, precarious and underserving healthcare that’s over burdened in part by lack of choices (though Dear Dotard could avail himself of any number of gourmet repasts and one would assume exercises his taste to leverage guests with dinner table diplomacy) and the pharmacopeia to stave off the deleterious effects of such a lifestyle. Hopefully, most of us have matured beyond this stage of being a finicky eater and perhaps like other unwelcome commendations and subsidies, people will further distance themselves from this short list of go-to franchises.

bedtime for democracy or where’s my tab?

Dear Leader reportedly was most impressed—of all the features at his disposal in the Oval Office—with a buzzer that he can use to summon a butler to bring him his soft-drink of choice. Delighted how it makes his visitors nervous, it seems a rather pathetic squandering of resources—something that six-year-old Anthony Fremont who can wish people into the corn-field might demand or a ritual befitting (no offense) Pee-Wee’s Playhouse—I just hope it’s not remotely close to any other placebo buttons.

6x6

littoral: the Inuit use these maps carved out of driftwood to navigate the coast

библиотека: a gallery of remarkable libraries of Eastern Europe

special sauce, lettuce, cheese: stratified recipe cards from Zing Zhang, via the always fabulous Nag on the Lake

shortlist, shoreditch: a selection of the finalists for a UK Brexit passport redesign

duchenne smile: earbuds that are controlled with facial expressions

crispr: octopi and their relatives can edit their own genes at will

milliarium aureum

Though far from pardoning all the hardships that the global fast-food franchise has brought on the neighbours that it’s saturated, we did enjoying hearing of how one restaurant incorporated some ancient ruins into its dining experience, conserving a bit of an archaeological excavation in the process.
The parent company invested an additional three hundred thousand euro to ensure that a stretch of Roman road was properly preserved and protected that was discovered during ground-breaking back in 2014, and now is on view thanks to a transparent floor in the restaurant. This compromise reminds me of the shopping mall in Mainz that’s host to a subterranean first century sanctuary of the goddess Isis and the Cybele discovered in 1999 when the mall’s proprietors were looking to expand underground parking.

cibo, gente, e spasso

Despite vocal protests by residents and officials—though cosmetically, probably not raising much ire as other fast-food franchises and tourist-tat already saturate the corridors radiating out from the tiny nation-state, another outlet of a much maligned nutritional hegemony-monger opened for business near the Holy See and for the first time, occupying real estate owned (but without being accorded extra-territorial status) by the Vatican.
We’ve been known to patronise this establishment in the past but I think it’s really too much to suffer the Golden Arches within sight of Saint Peter’s—or anywhere else not keeping with character of its host neighbourhood, and resolve to be a little bit more finicky going forward. No matter how architecturally sensitive or neutral the façade might be made, it’s hard to imagine fitting, deserving locales other than newer subdivisions or buried within the catacombs of an airport or shopping centre, not even considering how such fare assaults local culinary tradition. It seems a little disgraceful and one would think that the property-owner would have more say about its tenants and isn’t so cash-strapped as to have no choice in the matter. What do you think? Just like quarters and communities, there’s no group so culturally impoverished that there’s no cooking heritage to displace.

4x4

no bueno: a look at the evolution of the logo of a Tex-Mex-ish fast food chain via Super Punch

pleasure capsule: the pimped out Panthermobile, from the creator of KITT and the Bat Mobile, is finally street-legal—via Nag on the Lake

omoshirogara: the private propaganda kimonos en vogue from 1900 to 1945

ur-fascism: an examination of the key features of totalitarianism

food, fólks and fun

Though the last franchise of a global fast-food giant closed nearly seven years ago due to the worldwide financial crisis, there is apparently still at least one committed gourmand, as the Reykjavík Grapevine reports, who received a parcel from Hungary containing a hamburger.
The customs office intercepted the package before the recipient could claim it, and it is unclear whether the meal was consumed afterwards (or if indeed this was a regular delivery but I do not imagine that much contraband gets through the Icelandic postal system). Given that the last value menu sold in the country was on display under glass at the National Museum looking little changed since October 2009 (it’s subsequently been moved to a plinth at a local hostel), I am guessing the Icelander was able to satisfy his nostalgic cravings.

finger-licking good

Though perhaps the efficacy is in line with what it ought to be, I imagine that there was no need for this sort of product tie-in, which certainly would not be a good shark-repellent and perhaps as good a lure as a bucket of chum. The idea that marketers (who should be made to sit in a corner and think about what they have done) had for this gimmick is that the “skin that should be extra crispy this summer is on your fried chicken.” This revolts me on several levels at once, but apparently the campaign was effective with the sun-screen having already sold-out. I guess when you hit the beaches and are wafted not by the smell of salty air but another, rather intrusive aroma, you know right away who to avoid.

caveat lector

Though perhaps an object lesson in the reliability of the tabloid-press and this fast-food franchise does carry the daily issue of this particular publication in its restaurants for its diners’ reading pleasure, it seems very tragic that the German outlets would blindly carry this edition the following day after the murderous rampage in Munich, oblivious to the irony. In the main, German journalism is more reserved and sparing on speculation or salacious details (to protect the parties involved) and may never disclose names until one event is overcome by the next catastrophe. ISIS is the Cosplay Caliphate by its nature attracts losers and cowards to its sick and contorted cause, and operating under the principle that there is no such thing as bad publicity, gladly will accept someone settling personal scores under their ægis and allow the media to will connections that may or may not be there.

shock and awe

As of 20 May, EU regulations dictate that cigarette packaging begin displaying large format “shock” photos (Gruselbilder) that graphically illustrate the deliterious effects that the habit has on health, much like other jurisdictions, like Australia have already implemented. I do like Dangerous Minds’ alternative proposal—piggy-backing off the suggestion of Germany’s die Tageszeitung, that instead, packs are to be demonised by the broader abject rubbish of the world, external threats rather than one’s own self-inflictions.

i’m lovin’ it

Although the global fast food franchise has stirred controversy beforehand with a very similar advertisement back in 2010 for French markets (ahead of the country’s landmark decision to recognise same-sex marriages), the café division of this restauranteur, as Super Punch informs, is facing a boycott at the urging of some religious authorities in Taiwan over its latest iteration of this theme.
Despite seeming to be an unlikely medium for coming out to one’s father, a teen pens in the dialogue balloon of his coffee cup the admission that he likes guys—to which, his father angrily departs. After a beat the father returns, conciliatory, writing on the cup, “I accept that you like guys.” What do you think? Click through for more details and to watch the commercial. The company deserves praise for this, I think, and will weather protests, but should international businesses such as this be expected to remain neutral on cultural norms or do they have obligations to take a stance?

gilded placemat

Although not a surpassingly great technological achievement nor a particularly indemnifying marketing ploy (and I’ll confess I’d never patronise this establishment no matter what the gimmick or give-away), I could not get this taut out of my head—these paper-thin keyboard dining tray inserts so guests can avoid getting grease and crumbs (from a restaurant that built its reputation in part for being messy and lugubrious) on their smart phones. I suppose there’s a little bit of harmless fun to be had here—like with selfie-sombreros and display-cases for one’s more artfully arranged meals, but it does bother me that we’re so ready to admit that we can’t put down our phones even at the table and cannot fix our attention to what’s right in front of us. What do you think? Do we need to be encouraged or enabled any more than we already are?

five-by-five

finger lickin’: one casual dining franchise introduces Bluetooth keyboard tray inserts to keep cellular phones less greasy
swissmade 2069: a tribute to the lesser-known work of HR Giger

becomes a flotation device: airline safety video featuring every meme and personality from the internet

crowd-sourced: Swedish Hemnet dream home designed by internet traffic

1up: charity arcade games

you deserve a break today

One of my favourite correspondents, Bob Canada, editorializes on one fast food giant’s plan to counter slumping sales with the standard corporate contingency-plan—to introduce a new slogan.

I agree that many people may not understand the mathematical formulation and see the inequality symbol as broken computer code. Perhaps the confused can use this mind- bogglingly clever translation feature for smart phones, as one would for a foreign menu. Who are these Haters anyway? Are they shaming past patrons? The former advertising draughtsman even graciously offers a long list of alternate jingles.

mcdoof

The latest cover and theme of Der Spiegel magazine (which I think though available on-line a perhaps regaled with more premium advertizing space will never be something out-of-print or solely archived in waiting-rooms) really poses a message to consider, especially taking into account how convenience foods are engineered for endurance.

 Maybe such an EU-style Surgeon General’s warning writ-large is needed. Taste and texture conspire for something that is not particularly memorable for the palette, lest one gets too inured to it, something unlike a very good meal that would be unseemly nonetheless to repeat too soon. This sort of subliminal, proletariat appeal is by design and a wonder of marketing and promotion, supported by an army food-hacks and production short-cuts. The fast-food industry and of course other addictive substances are able to buck the justification that “but I had Chinese for lunch” or “Greek just on Tuesday.” It is becoming harder and harder, however, to position oneself in a landscape to honestly choose and avoid the underlying staples.

gerrymander or mayor mccheese

Perhaps the recent media disclosure that in fact Americans respect their own ideal of German prowess, engineering and discipline (irrespective of what kind of magical or wishful thinking that is) is more like the kiss of death—hitching the tenor and fatalism of American politics to how Germany and the current government carry on to handle an undulating, interest waxing and waning, crisis in the economic sector married to more profound and long-term questions of European identity, peace and cooperation.

The polygamist US is strange in courting another marriage of convenience with a partner that’s very coy and mutable: Germany either, as the hinge for the US election, represents deft leadership and resolve or Germany is the Bürgermeister of Euro-Town, the focus of the Red Scare rhetoric that was an early theme in the campaign—that European style governance was not working in Europe and certainly would not work in the States, and strident scolding from the President and monetary policy-setters about how Germany needed to act, not to mention the volleys from the credit rating agencies were landing on all sides. It’s like as if one was playing Battleship and the grid is all red-hits except for a Germany-shaped cut-out. I don’t think Germany wants the responsibility (in the rarified air of the democratic process) of king-maker or empire-wrecker, nor agrees to the dire hysterics of the moment, whether regarded through American eyes as a bulwark of self-control or as a Welfare Queen. Such is the statecraft of blame and deflection. Despite frustration and desperation, no one, from Germany and France, whose smugness may be a media construct, to Greece, Ireland, Spain, Italy, Portugal and the rest have given up on their native talents and resources. Yanked on stage and ordered to dance, one would think that global financial maneuvering was old-hat for some of the designated trouble-economies. Borders have been re-drawn, crossing-wires or supplanting the signs of the Zodiac with one’s own corporate constellations. Certainly any of these countries have the sophistication, wherewithal and frame to play and win besides, this is not the top draw in Europe. There is also not the delineation of the Free and Imperial City of Detroit, the Principality of California or the Most Serene Republic of the Mississippi for market comparison. Inflated and artificial divisions press the attention of the public to this side show and away from the native resources that America sorely lacks. Instead of trying to affect a cultural and productive remedy, US political antagonists are yoking their prospects to a very cosmopolitan cause that is not Europe’s first priority.